It ain’t easy being lame


*A guy in my night class wearing a shirt that said “Bros like this frat” on the back. He has worn this shirt to class at least once a week every week this summer. Dude. Seriously? Apparently bros like hanging out with sweaty bros who like to wear the same distinct clothing day after day. Who am I to judge? At least it’s not as gay as bros icing bros.

*A very pregnant woman walking down Delmar while wearing super short shorts and a half shirt. Keepin’ it classy, U City.

*What appeared to be someone’s weave on the sidewalk near our apartment. Free hair? Score?

*Our new mystery snails, taking the aquarium by force. They made their way from the bottom of our plastic plants all the way to the tip, making the plant tips almost touch the bottom with the added weight, then slimed off and went on to explore the rest of the aquarium bottom. I’ve found them on the aquarium side, upside down inside the little rock cave, on all levels of various plants, comfortably resting on Chompers’ (the bubble-making T-Rex) back, and today Mike witnessed one creeping up to the top of the aquarium via some random clear tubing. Our two new frogs? Hiding like pussies underneath the filter intake. The first time, I freaked out and thought they were stuck. Now I know they’re just lazy and spiteful, refusing to prance about the tank for my viewing pleasure. Way to get schooled on awesomeness, frogs. You know know you’re doing something wrong when a snail is making you look bad.


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