…is an old man who I occasionally see on Natural Bridge Road. He rides what appears to be one of those wheelchair scooter things with the basket in front that they have at some grocery stores for people who don’t actually need a wheelchair but are a special combo of overweight and lazy. I don’t know how he steers, because one hand is holding a leash for his German Shepherd, and the other hand holds his cigar. This is how it has been each of the three times I have seen him so far. When I grow up, I want to be that guy.