"Who the fuck is Socrates?"

Today I received an email from one Rob Gow with the subject line “a movie for emily and her fear of raccoons”. I was intrigued. The email included a link to this creepy ass website. I have no idea what to make of this website, but it gives me the heebies. And a little bit of the jeebies. Also, the site references Willard, which is the 2nd time that movie has come up this week. Go Fug Yourself, one of my favorite snarky websites, mocked someone for wearing a Michael Jackson-esque military jacket. They referenced a stirring performance of “Ben”.

One random day awhile back, I ended up watching the 2003 version of Willard. It creeped me the fuck out, and I was especially disturbed by the use of the song “Ben”. It was the weirdest, creepiest, most out of place use of a song in a movie ever (I can’t technically prove that). It wasn’t until this week that I found out that the song was actually written specifically for the 1972 movie of the same name, the sequel to the original Willard. I think this made the song even creepier to me than had it just been a normal song used bizarrely. Fun fact? The song was originally offered to Donny Osmond. Actually, now that I think about it, that’s less of a “fun fact” and more just a “fact”. Another not so fun fact? The title of this particular blog post is just the only line I can remember from the movie..

I’d like to watch a scary movie sometime soon. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a scary movie, it’s October, and Halloween is creeping up on us. (How many times can I use a variation of the word “creep” in one blog? Let’s find out!)***

On a totally unrelated note, I finally saw the Direct TV commercial where the guy kisses the tiny giraffe. And now I want to start saying, “Opulence….I has it.” I would also like a miniature giraffe. Work on that, world.

I don’t have a strong opinion either way on the actual song, but I really like the video by OK Go for White Knuckles.

And now, a little segment I like to call “Random things Mike says”. It won’t show up on twitter or become a really odd choice for a sitcom, but it still amuses me.

“You need to be able to drop a nipple in it or that shit ain’t gourmet” -on the subject of cooking shows and hosts showing a surprising amount of cleave

“I’m being a transformer. Dressing up as a girl and going out dancing with boys? Transformer? (sings) More than meets the eye!”- while playing the Transformers game

“If you don’t like constant rocking guitar solos, I don’t know if we can be together”- on the topic of Castlevania

***Six. I used a version of the word “creep” six times. Well, seven now. I feel like I could have easily topped that with a little effort. Next time, perhaps.


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