In a rut

I have no motivation at all. I was going ok for awhile: staying on top of things for school, wedding planning, adhering to the apartment chore chart. I don’t know why or when it started, but a complete and total apathy has crept back into my life. I feel like I should be more enthused. The weather is beautiful, I’m getting married in 72 days (yowza), I should just have 3 classes left after this semester.
I’m just not feeling any of it. I don’t care about decorations & finalizing details. The apartment is a mess. I’m having to force myself to do even the bare minimum for school. I think part of the problem in this regard is that I don’t really feel like a student. I’m super old, I haven’t been a traditional full-time student in over 7 years, and no one else I know is an undergraduate. Everyone is either done with school, didn’t go the school route (or quit years ago), or is working on their masters.
I’m just feeling old and tired and unaccomplished. I don’t think I’m depressed or anything; I’m not feeling sad or particularly down. I just feel indifferent.
I don’t know what needs to happen, but I need to shake myself out of this rut. Any (legit) suggestions?


3 thoughts on “In a rut

  1. Make a list of everything you have to do for the next month/week/day/whatever and scratch things out as you do them. Even if you don't feel like doing the stuff you at least get to scratch it off your list when you're done.

  2. Make the things on your list very small – 5 minute items…break everything down into small increments so you get to scratch off a lot. It helps me to keep going when I feel like I'm actually getting stuff done. Like rather than "clean the livingroom" i put "dust the mantle" and "vacuum the rug" and "water plants"…open the windows for fresh air as much as possible.also…caffeine. lots and lots of caffeine.but most of all, don't compare your goals to the goals of others – you are accomplishing things! that's amazing!

  3. all great ideas and advice. and while i'd also love to add some really insightful way of helping you heal in this time, all i can say is don't allow yourself to feel guilty in this time. it's ONLY a season. it's not forever. and sometimes, sometimes we need to have them, we have to go through it, it doesn't mean something is wrong if you at all had that thought, it doesn't mean that you're lazy if you at all had THAT thought. there is a purpose for this apathy and you will find the purpose and use it and feel purposed yet again. just please, as you make small lists and check them off or as you don't, do not allow yourself to feel guilty in this. you are an amazing spirit, capable of greatness, i sometimes shrink back in awe from your writing- you have such a talent my dear and you have already accomplished SO much- i look forward to seeing what victoriously lies ahead for you. 🙂 i love you and am so looking forward to coming out to see your union, your love. xo

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